Apropos of nothing in particular (other than perhaps shared affinities for cheese, British sketch comedy, and spending time with each other), my father and I recently made a pact of sorts to attempt to try every single one of the cheese varieties mentioned in the script of “The Cheese Shop,” one of British comedy troupe Monty Python’s more famous sketches from its Flying Circus television show that aired on the BBC in the late 1960s and early 1970s.  “The Cheese Shop,” written by John Cleese (who also stars in the sketch) and Graham Chapman, first aired on November 30, 1972, in Flying Circus‘s 33rd episode.  For the uninitiated:

To guide us in our quest, my father and I pulled this transcription of the sketch from the MIT website.  I have not verified the transcript’s copy against an audio or video recording of the sketch, but I have little reason to doubt its accuracy.

There are some obvious problems with trying to sample every single cheese mentioned in the sketch.  “Venezuelan beaver cheese,” for example, does not actually exist.  And there are practical problems, too.  I have only been able to find Caerphilly, a Welsh cheese, available for purchase online in 9 lb. quantities.  As much as I love cheese, that seems like overdoing it, especially if it turns out to be a cheese that is not all that appetizing.

Dad and I had our first cheese adventure this past Sunday, sampling Emmentaler, Stilton, Wensleydale, and a truffle gouda before my wife and I cooked a full meal for both of my parents.  We also had a soft brie-like Italian cheese with a pink rind; its name escapes me right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s not formally on the list.  (Update: it was called Taleggio, and it was delightful.)

I will update this post later with a table of all the cheeses and when my father and I get to try them.  For now, however, if you’d like to join us in our quest, send me a note with any tips on how to get some of the more obscure cheeses on the list–preferably via online purchase and home delivery.

Update — Tasting Tracker

Cheese Name	Date Tried	Dad’s Review	George’s Review
Red Leicester
Tilsit
Caerphilly
Bel Paese
Red Windsor
Stilton	Jan. 30, 2022		I will probably rave about the many blue cheeses that appear in the script of “The Cheese Shop” (yes, there are several).  I hated blue cheese as a child because I did not like the bitterness of it, but, when I first tried grilled red meat with blue cheese crumbles as an adult, I was hooked.  This particular blue cheese cousin was exquisite.  Like any other blue, it was somewhat pungent; if you have never had it before, it falls in that family of “stinky” cheeses that have a really strong, savory (almost sour) flavor that hangs around in your mouth and travels up into your sinuses and nostrils as and after you ingest it.  But, unlike traditional blues, Stilton is creamier and holds together well instead of crumbling under pressure.  So, this Stilton was spreadable, which made it very easy to eat with crackers.  I probably could’ve eaten the whole wedge and had nothing else with dinner, but we had prime filets, sautéed scallops, and baked lobster tails on the menu, and other cheeses to try, so I did my best to temper my blue cheese craze.  (I probably still overdid it on the evening; but we only live once!)
Ementhal (Emmentaler)	Jan. 30, 2022		Whole Foods seems to be a great place to pick up cheeses you won’t find at your regular big-box supermarket, so it was easy to go there to find this Emmentaler.  Although not as firm as block parmesan, it was definitely not as soft as block cheddar.  It is a Swiss cheese, and thus it has a slightly bitter flavor that hangs around even after you swallow it.  I did not like Swiss cheese when I was a child, and I am not sure that I like it much more now (although gruyère and raclette are divine, especially on soups and toasts), but I would eat this cheese again.
Gruyère
Norwegian Jarlsberg
Lipta
Lancashire
White Stilton
Danish Brew
Double Gloucester
Cheshire
Dorset Bluveny
Brie
Roquefort
Pol le Veq
Port Salut
Savoy Aire
Saint Paulin
Carrier de l’Est
Bres Bleu
Bruson
Camembert
Gouda	Jan. 30, 2022		This was a truffle gouda that I picked up at Whole Foods.  Candidly, I had eaten this cheese before and loved it, so when thinking about a gouda for this quest, I gravitated instantly to this one.  The cheese itself was semi-firm and had a smoky but mild flavor, so the truffle flecks mixed in with the body of the cheese provided a nice, savory accent.  I highly recommend it.
Edam
Case Ness
Smoked Austrian
Japanese Sage Darby
Wensleydale	Jan. 30, 2022		Although I also purchased this cheese at Whole Foods, I cannot find it on their website as of this writing.  It was a cranberry-infused Wensleydale that may very well have been this brand.  The consistency of this cheese was slightly firmer than ordinary cream cheese, but definitely not as firm as a chunk of cheddar or jack cheese that you might find on a buffet table at a cocktail party.  I tried a few times to spread this cheese, but I kept breaking my crackers.  If there is any cheese I truly loathe and will not eat unless it is an ingredient in a recipe, it is cream cheese.  So, I was skeptical of this Wensleydale.  However, the sweet tartness of the cranberries provided a really nice contrast to the semi-sourness of the cheese, and I was surprised to have enjoyed it as much as I did.  This will probably not be a go-to cheese for me in the future, but I will not refuse it if offered.
Greek Feta
Gorgonzola
Parmesan
Mozzarella
Paper Cramer
Danish Bimbo
Czech Sheep’s Milk
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese*
Cheddar
Ilchester
Limburger